Dear God,
It's been glad to know that when it gets harder, the closer we get together.
In fact, I've neer been more than happy to know that even in my weaknesses I am able to continue to worship You, to praise your name and to let well, probably...let my light shine before men.
It's been a great joy to know that my prayers been answered.
And with thanksgiving attitude, I am allowed to be rewarded with more blessings which make me stand in awe of You.
Furthermore, to know You are always there.
To watch my every step, to bless me with friends and colleague and seniors
And most of all...to let me experience what it means to interact, to solve problem, well...sometimes, things may not be perfect, but I'm glad that You've make me glad with the presence of everyone who is there to cheer me up. :)
Thank You Lord.
Indeed, You are Worthy of Worship.
And that allow me to feel what it means to raise my voice up to that level, whereby, although it may be pretty hard to reach, but eventually, I am able to make it. :)
But all in all, I'm glad to know that despite the busy schedule, despite hectic hours, despite the fatigue and tiresome, we are getting closer day by day. :) And this by far is the best thing ever of all the experiences that I received.
Thank You Lord.
Yours Faithfully,
Yuliana :)
Monday, December 5, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Water for Elephant
Circus.
Tents.
Perfomers.
Managerie.
Working Men.
Magenta.
Animal.
Elephant.
Sequin.
Marlena.
Jacob Jankowski.
These are some of the common words, and characters found in the book, Water for Elephant. A story filled with, passion, determination, kindness, thrill and forbidden love.
It was a story about a boy who after running away from his examination hall, found himself landing into one of the rarest train in town, as it is none other than, the Benzini Brother's most Spectacular Show Circus Train; and, desperate for a job and shelter, Jacob decided to remain in the train despite some of the 'political' thing that happened in the train, until he found the one thing that made his stay even more worthwhile--- The beautiful Marlena.
So what happened in the end when he found out that Marlena is married to one of the most vicious man on the train?
Well read on and find out more. :)
I should say that this is one of the most beautiful love story I've ever read so far. (Probably, after Ps. I Love You, Cecilia Ahern) And unlike the usual setting of two people meeting in town/ friends party/ high school etc. this one the setting takes place mostly on the train. And despite the fact that the story is about this two person, Jacob and Marlena, but the other characters and depiction is a must to read as well.
Description such as how working men struggles to set the tents up/ how Jacob and Kinko tries to hide the almost redlighted Camel behind the cot of their trunk etc. allows me to feel how difficult it is to survive in the circus, even though when it comes to performance, the whole things seems so beautiful and breathtaking. (perfomers in their sunday best, animals well groomed and trained, ready to act, excited crowds gathering around for the best seats.)
For a while I feel as if I've been to the circus, when the truth is--I've not.
Anyway, whatever it is, Sarah Gruen really did a great job in creating the whole 'lay out' of the setting and the era of that time. And I dare say that this is the first time I feel so worth it to be fined by the library, because the book is just so good that I just can't dumped it to the book drop before I read The End of it.
L&P
Yuliana :)
Tents.
Perfomers.
Managerie.
Working Men.
Magenta.
Animal.
Elephant.
Sequin.
Marlena.
Jacob Jankowski.
These are some of the common words, and characters found in the book, Water for Elephant. A story filled with, passion, determination, kindness, thrill and forbidden love.
It was a story about a boy who after running away from his examination hall, found himself landing into one of the rarest train in town, as it is none other than, the Benzini Brother's most Spectacular Show Circus Train; and, desperate for a job and shelter, Jacob decided to remain in the train despite some of the 'political' thing that happened in the train, until he found the one thing that made his stay even more worthwhile--- The beautiful Marlena.
So what happened in the end when he found out that Marlena is married to one of the most vicious man on the train?
Well read on and find out more. :)
I should say that this is one of the most beautiful love story I've ever read so far. (Probably, after Ps. I Love You, Cecilia Ahern) And unlike the usual setting of two people meeting in town/ friends party/ high school etc. this one the setting takes place mostly on the train. And despite the fact that the story is about this two person, Jacob and Marlena, but the other characters and depiction is a must to read as well.
Description such as how working men struggles to set the tents up/ how Jacob and Kinko tries to hide the almost redlighted Camel behind the cot of their trunk etc. allows me to feel how difficult it is to survive in the circus, even though when it comes to performance, the whole things seems so beautiful and breathtaking. (perfomers in their sunday best, animals well groomed and trained, ready to act, excited crowds gathering around for the best seats.)
For a while I feel as if I've been to the circus, when the truth is--I've not.
Anyway, whatever it is, Sarah Gruen really did a great job in creating the whole 'lay out' of the setting and the era of that time. And I dare say that this is the first time I feel so worth it to be fined by the library, because the book is just so good that I just can't dumped it to the book drop before I read The End of it.
L&P
Yuliana :)
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Home
"How long are you staying in Indonesia?...So GOOD!"
"I can't wait to go back."
"So good, you are able to go back...Home"
Above are some of the responses I got from fellow Indonesian friends (who are living in Singapore) when they learnt that I will be going home for one solid week previously.
I was a little puzzled actually to the way they responded, and I wondered why was it such a big deal for them when they learnt that I am going home.
My enquiries were answered one night when I was making my way back home with another Indonesian friend of mine who had just came to Singapore for a few months.
Unlike me who is fortunate enough to have my whole family living under one roof here in Singapore, these people has none. And the idea of going back home for them is just as thrilling as meeting their loved ones.
Home.
How often do we think aout how valuable it is to us?
Maybe just like me, who are always surrounded by my loved ones, we never realized how important it is to be at home.
But the feeling is different when it comes to those who are living alone in a foreign country, and it is no wonder why, when I said I am going back to Indonesia, all of them were looking at me with 'envy'.
But thanks to that, it allows me to comprehend what it means to be home.
Apart from that, it also enables me to understand why some Indonesians always say that living in Singapore is "not nice".
Or why some old people always prefers to die at home then in the hospital, because hospital is 'not nice'.
Well, maybe the idea of 'not nice' here is not that they dislike the country/the place they are stationed, no. Because those Indonesians living in Singapore that I talked to actually like the facilities and living condition here.
Or the old people, who were asked why they keep wanting to go home, when here in the hospital they will have nurses and doctors to attend to them twenty-seven.
But the reason why they said that is because, it is 'unplesant' to be alone.
It is 'uncomfortable' to be living in a place so alien to you with no one you love by your side.
It is no wonder why in his song, Michael Bubble repeat the words : "Let me go home" so many times and with such emotion that perhaps only a person who has been far away from home can understand.
From this experience, I also learnt about what it means to be independent-courageous-determine-willing as you continue to live your life here in this foreign land even when you feel like "I want to go home." despite being surrounded by a million people.
Fortunately, the good news is, just like how Bubble ended his song by saying "It'll all be alright, I'll be home tonight, I'm coming back home." all of you my friends who have been living 'alone' all these while and have been looking forward to go home, will be making your way home soon too. :)
And though its a little pity that we could not spend Christmas together and it's a little too early for me to say
this, but I really wish that wherever you are, all of you out there are going to have a Blessed Merry Christmas out there :)
Love and Peace,
Yuliana :)
ps. YF-ers SEMANGAT!
"I can't wait to go back."
"So good, you are able to go back...Home"
Above are some of the responses I got from fellow Indonesian friends (who are living in Singapore) when they learnt that I will be going home for one solid week previously.
I was a little puzzled actually to the way they responded, and I wondered why was it such a big deal for them when they learnt that I am going home.
My enquiries were answered one night when I was making my way back home with another Indonesian friend of mine who had just came to Singapore for a few months.
Unlike me who is fortunate enough to have my whole family living under one roof here in Singapore, these people has none. And the idea of going back home for them is just as thrilling as meeting their loved ones.
Home.
How often do we think aout how valuable it is to us?
Maybe just like me, who are always surrounded by my loved ones, we never realized how important it is to be at home.
But the feeling is different when it comes to those who are living alone in a foreign country, and it is no wonder why, when I said I am going back to Indonesia, all of them were looking at me with 'envy'.
But thanks to that, it allows me to comprehend what it means to be home.
Apart from that, it also enables me to understand why some Indonesians always say that living in Singapore is "not nice".
Or why some old people always prefers to die at home then in the hospital, because hospital is 'not nice'.
Well, maybe the idea of 'not nice' here is not that they dislike the country/the place they are stationed, no. Because those Indonesians living in Singapore that I talked to actually like the facilities and living condition here.
Or the old people, who were asked why they keep wanting to go home, when here in the hospital they will have nurses and doctors to attend to them twenty-seven.
But the reason why they said that is because, it is 'unplesant' to be alone.
It is 'uncomfortable' to be living in a place so alien to you with no one you love by your side.
It is no wonder why in his song, Michael Bubble repeat the words : "Let me go home" so many times and with such emotion that perhaps only a person who has been far away from home can understand.
From this experience, I also learnt about what it means to be independent-courageous-determine-willing as you continue to live your life here in this foreign land even when you feel like "I want to go home." despite being surrounded by a million people.
Fortunately, the good news is, just like how Bubble ended his song by saying "It'll all be alright, I'll be home tonight, I'm coming back home." all of you my friends who have been living 'alone' all these while and have been looking forward to go home, will be making your way home soon too. :)
And though its a little pity that we could not spend Christmas together and it's a little too early for me to say
this, but I really wish that wherever you are, all of you out there are going to have a Blessed Merry Christmas out there :)
Love and Peace,
Yuliana :)
ps. YF-ers SEMANGAT!
Purpose
After living with not-so-much of a purposeful life for the past few months, FINALLY, I found myself going back on track again to the road of a more meaningful, purposeful life.
Unlike the past few months whereby I spent my days thinking of what to do everyday without a definite desire/ motivation, these four days I realized that I have been motivating myself to do the few things that I have been dreading myself to do all these while : Writing a resume and Enhancing my dull portfolios.
And I'm glad!
I'm glad! Pleased! Very much Delighted that I have been working extra hard to achieve that. :)
The sense of accomplishment is beyond simple description.
And I thank God for creating us as a human with a purpose than not. Because, as much as life can be challenging sometimes/ the purpose that we are looking for seems so entwain, but at the end of the day because we wanted to achieve that purpose and because we know we have that purpose, it makes us move...and keep moving and make our life not that boring/ stagnant all the time.
Unlike the past few months whereby I spent my days thinking of what to do everyday without a definite desire/ motivation, these four days I realized that I have been motivating myself to do the few things that I have been dreading myself to do all these while : Writing a resume and Enhancing my dull portfolios.
And I'm glad!
I'm glad! Pleased! Very much Delighted that I have been working extra hard to achieve that. :)
The sense of accomplishment is beyond simple description.
And I thank God for creating us as a human with a purpose than not. Because, as much as life can be challenging sometimes/ the purpose that we are looking for seems so entwain, but at the end of the day because we wanted to achieve that purpose and because we know we have that purpose, it makes us move...and keep moving and make our life not that boring/ stagnant all the time.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Yours (A fiction)
When I was young I was loved.
I was fed.
I was listened.
I was showered with love.
When I was older, I learn how to love.
I cared.
I shared.
I sacrificed.
I listened.
I fed.
I showered others with love.
When I am old, I transfered love and taught how to love.
How to care.
How to share.
How to sacrifice.
And how to pass love forward for those who need it.
When I die, I died loved and with love.
I may not last forever, but love does.
Like life, it continues to cycle around us regardless of age.
And accompanied by care it exists in every hearts including yours.
Yuliana
I was fed.
I was listened.
I was showered with love.
When I was older, I learn how to love.
I cared.
I shared.
I sacrificed.
I listened.
I fed.
I showered others with love.
When I am old, I transfered love and taught how to love.
How to care.
How to share.
How to sacrifice.
And how to pass love forward for those who need it.
When I die, I died loved and with love.
I may not last forever, but love does.
Like life, it continues to cycle around us regardless of age.
And accompanied by care it exists in every hearts including yours.
Yuliana
Mutual Understanding (A fiction)
Danielle ran frantically around the neighbourhood.
"oh god where are you kyle" she thought to herself breathless.
She had been running around the area for more than 10 minutes now and still she could find no trace of kyle.
Earlier they just had a quarrell which led the two of them screaming and shouting and kyle walking away hurt
by what Danielle had said to him.
"Where can he be?" Danielle thought to herself. "kyle is drunk he wouldn't have walked that quickly." it was also because of this reason they fought.
It was not the first time Kyle came back drunk. And it was not the first time they fought over this. But this time it was the worst.
"Oh Kyle i'm so sorry" she thought to herself in the bitter chill of the night.
It has been raining heavily for the last few days and though Danielle was fortunate that the rain had finally stop, but the wind is still unbearable.
She rubbed her palms for some heat and wrapped her arms around her. She was wearing nothing but a thin oversize black tee-shirt and faded pink track pants.
An attire she will never wear outside her own house unless permitted like now.
"Damn Kyle where are you?" she thought as she walked out of Harold's Cafe.
It was their favourite cafe to catch up with supper after a midnight show.
Danielle sat on one of the empty chair at Harold's outdoor tables and wondered where can Kyle be.
Unfortunate, she could think of none and thus, with heavy heart, she decided to walk back and headed home.
Just then in the distance, she saw a familiar figure.
The figure's shoulders were stooping low and heavy. His hair is rugged and messy and his shirt is crumpled and messily tuck out off his trousers.
"Kyle!" Danielle called out dashing towards him.
He continued to walk, ignoring her call.
"Kyle where are you going?" Danielle shouted "wait" she said panting.
Unlike her,Kyle is big built. Standing tall on six foot one.
"Kyle!" Danielle said catching up, Kyle was walking so quickly that she had a hard time chasing him. "Wait up!" she shouted grabbing his hand when she had finally reached his side.
Kyle took his hand roughly from her " what do you want?" he asked without looking at her "i thought you said you dont love me anymore?"
"Kyle listen! I'm sorry okay." Danielle said apologetically. "I didnt mean to hurt you. I just...i was just pissed to see you coming home drunk every night and making a fool of yourself. Can you please stop walking!" Danielle shouted as she stood a few distance away from him.
Kyle stopped and turned to look at his girlfriend. "Wow, you actually get out of the house wearing that? Cool." he said looking at Danielle's sloppy attire.
"Kyle stop joking alright." Danielle said irritated.
"I'm not!" he shouted. "do you see what happen between us? This is what happen, you never believe a single thing that i said. You are always checking on me and think suspicious. You look at me like some losers and compare me with your guy-friends. You show concerns to the people around you, but not to me. You dont even care about how i feel. "he said pausing to catch a breath.
"You know i may not be the perfect guy, but i know what i'm doing and i know i love you. But i dont know about you." he continued.
Danielle looked at her boyfriend without saying a word. Indeed, does she loves him? Then why does he thinks that what she is doing is hurting him? And maybe its true that sometimes, she wishes he is someone better and sometimes she wishes that he can sacrifice some of his bad habits for her, but could it be that sometimes, she berself is not being a good girlfriend to him too?
Indeed, she could not understand why she could not trust him and why she has to compare him with her other guy friends. And maybe she is putting too much expectation on him by making him someone he is not. Either way, she just wish that they could be a perfect couple. But maybe there is no such thing as a perfect couple, but all that is is a mutual understanding.
"I'm sorry" she whispered. "I dont know what is wrong with me, but just like you, i love you too. And i know wha i did was not right, but i only does it because I care. Really, its not for my own sake that i want you to be a better you, like for example, I know you love that motorbike of yours and you always brag about how cool you look when you speed with that, but the break is spoilt can you do something about it? Risking your own life is not cool. And i know you like messy style but when you come with me for some family or company occassion can you please wear something neat and tidy, its for your own good image. Do it fashionably even if you want to appear rugged or messy. And lastly, can you stop drinking and behaving like a moron? It is retarded and it makes you look less than cool when you vomitted on the couch or when you showed up in front of the door with a cop. And can you..." Danielle could not finish her sentence for her lips was locked on Kyle's as he pulled her closer to him.
"Can you just stop nagging when I'm drunk? Sometimes i know it means good, but when my head is spinning, it got worst when nagged and all i need is a hug or a kiss." he said lifting her up on eye level. "And i know you dont like me to say this, but i really like the way you look without all that make up and dolled up attire. Can you just wear something like this once in a while when we go on our dates? And all food are not as fat as you think they are, stop starving yourself and eat right. A little fat is good to keep you warm. Besides, i dont really care about how you look from the outside, all i care is what is inside. Can you also stop checking on my mobile phones for what i am doing on a daily basis, talk to me. Trust me. I wont lie just to make me feel good. Last but not least, i know i'm not good at remembering important dates, but if you want a great surprise, do tell me before hand and i promise i will give you the best suprise you'll ever have."
They looked at each other and smiled. For a while they felt silly for quarrelling over something so simple, if only they learn to communicate better...
"You sure you want me to talk to you?" Danielle said after they had stopped laughing.
"Why not?" Kyle defended.
"Then why aren't you replying when we talked?"
Kyle looked at his girlfriend and shrugged, "I'm listening." he said defending himself once again.
"Do respond." Danielle requested. "it shows that you are really listening when you respond."
Kyle smiled as he heard the answer. "Sorry about that, I'll keep that in mind in the future."
As they walked with their arms around one another, love filled their hearts, making the chilly wind bearable as they walked their way home.
"oh god where are you kyle" she thought to herself breathless.
She had been running around the area for more than 10 minutes now and still she could find no trace of kyle.
Earlier they just had a quarrell which led the two of them screaming and shouting and kyle walking away hurt
by what Danielle had said to him.
"Where can he be?" Danielle thought to herself. "kyle is drunk he wouldn't have walked that quickly." it was also because of this reason they fought.
It was not the first time Kyle came back drunk. And it was not the first time they fought over this. But this time it was the worst.
"Oh Kyle i'm so sorry" she thought to herself in the bitter chill of the night.
It has been raining heavily for the last few days and though Danielle was fortunate that the rain had finally stop, but the wind is still unbearable.
She rubbed her palms for some heat and wrapped her arms around her. She was wearing nothing but a thin oversize black tee-shirt and faded pink track pants.
An attire she will never wear outside her own house unless permitted like now.
"Damn Kyle where are you?" she thought as she walked out of Harold's Cafe.
It was their favourite cafe to catch up with supper after a midnight show.
Danielle sat on one of the empty chair at Harold's outdoor tables and wondered where can Kyle be.
Unfortunate, she could think of none and thus, with heavy heart, she decided to walk back and headed home.
Just then in the distance, she saw a familiar figure.
The figure's shoulders were stooping low and heavy. His hair is rugged and messy and his shirt is crumpled and messily tuck out off his trousers.
"Kyle!" Danielle called out dashing towards him.
He continued to walk, ignoring her call.
"Kyle where are you going?" Danielle shouted "wait" she said panting.
Unlike her,Kyle is big built. Standing tall on six foot one.
"Kyle!" Danielle said catching up, Kyle was walking so quickly that she had a hard time chasing him. "Wait up!" she shouted grabbing his hand when she had finally reached his side.
Kyle took his hand roughly from her " what do you want?" he asked without looking at her "i thought you said you dont love me anymore?"
"Kyle listen! I'm sorry okay." Danielle said apologetically. "I didnt mean to hurt you. I just...i was just pissed to see you coming home drunk every night and making a fool of yourself. Can you please stop walking!" Danielle shouted as she stood a few distance away from him.
Kyle stopped and turned to look at his girlfriend. "Wow, you actually get out of the house wearing that? Cool." he said looking at Danielle's sloppy attire.
"Kyle stop joking alright." Danielle said irritated.
"I'm not!" he shouted. "do you see what happen between us? This is what happen, you never believe a single thing that i said. You are always checking on me and think suspicious. You look at me like some losers and compare me with your guy-friends. You show concerns to the people around you, but not to me. You dont even care about how i feel. "he said pausing to catch a breath.
"You know i may not be the perfect guy, but i know what i'm doing and i know i love you. But i dont know about you." he continued.
Danielle looked at her boyfriend without saying a word. Indeed, does she loves him? Then why does he thinks that what she is doing is hurting him? And maybe its true that sometimes, she wishes he is someone better and sometimes she wishes that he can sacrifice some of his bad habits for her, but could it be that sometimes, she berself is not being a good girlfriend to him too?
Indeed, she could not understand why she could not trust him and why she has to compare him with her other guy friends. And maybe she is putting too much expectation on him by making him someone he is not. Either way, she just wish that they could be a perfect couple. But maybe there is no such thing as a perfect couple, but all that is is a mutual understanding.
"I'm sorry" she whispered. "I dont know what is wrong with me, but just like you, i love you too. And i know wha i did was not right, but i only does it because I care. Really, its not for my own sake that i want you to be a better you, like for example, I know you love that motorbike of yours and you always brag about how cool you look when you speed with that, but the break is spoilt can you do something about it? Risking your own life is not cool. And i know you like messy style but when you come with me for some family or company occassion can you please wear something neat and tidy, its for your own good image. Do it fashionably even if you want to appear rugged or messy. And lastly, can you stop drinking and behaving like a moron? It is retarded and it makes you look less than cool when you vomitted on the couch or when you showed up in front of the door with a cop. And can you..." Danielle could not finish her sentence for her lips was locked on Kyle's as he pulled her closer to him.
"Can you just stop nagging when I'm drunk? Sometimes i know it means good, but when my head is spinning, it got worst when nagged and all i need is a hug or a kiss." he said lifting her up on eye level. "And i know you dont like me to say this, but i really like the way you look without all that make up and dolled up attire. Can you just wear something like this once in a while when we go on our dates? And all food are not as fat as you think they are, stop starving yourself and eat right. A little fat is good to keep you warm. Besides, i dont really care about how you look from the outside, all i care is what is inside. Can you also stop checking on my mobile phones for what i am doing on a daily basis, talk to me. Trust me. I wont lie just to make me feel good. Last but not least, i know i'm not good at remembering important dates, but if you want a great surprise, do tell me before hand and i promise i will give you the best suprise you'll ever have."
They looked at each other and smiled. For a while they felt silly for quarrelling over something so simple, if only they learn to communicate better...
"You sure you want me to talk to you?" Danielle said after they had stopped laughing.
"Why not?" Kyle defended.
"Then why aren't you replying when we talked?"
Kyle looked at his girlfriend and shrugged, "I'm listening." he said defending himself once again.
"Do respond." Danielle requested. "it shows that you are really listening when you respond."
Kyle smiled as he heard the answer. "Sorry about that, I'll keep that in mind in the future."
As they walked with their arms around one another, love filled their hearts, making the chilly wind bearable as they walked their way home.
Yuliana :)
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Numerical Numbers
I have never like numerical numbers.
Not only are they confusing to calculate sometimes (when it comes to too many amounts and zeroes), they can be very frightening too.
Especially the time when we... for the sake of all the convenience, use it invisibly.
And yes, I am referring to you dear Credit Cards.
Okay, before I rant on, maybe I should put some of the blame on myself for buying things in a flight of fancy these few days.
But well, all that items are by ALL means, functional needs.
Really.
They are clothes.
And I need clothes.
And I need them to revamp myself from my outdated looks.
:p (opps)
Well, anyway, back to numbers and my fright night moment with them.
Yeah, so you know what, I had been, you know, using invisible money for one way or another (and for some time) and, yeah, talking about this, brings me to point no.2 to my own biggest mistakes:
I forgot to replace my book keeping book. Thus all these money that I had spent, I had not only spent them invisibly, but also blindly.
With no records whatsoever.
Therefore, after 3 months of not keeping track with my own financial situation, suddenly yesterday, when I was calculating the amount I spent, TO MY BIGGEST NIGHTMARE, which is even more scary that Elm's Street, I realized that I had spent such a big BOMB that it burnt a big hole in my "pocket" right now.
And you know what, as I was pressing madly on daddy's calculator I could feel the mocking smile of the freaking money getting wider and wider!
On the other hand, my heart was growing dimmer and dimmer and almost, broke into a million pieces. But well, since it's only almost, so maybe I should re-phrase the sentence and said that my heart grows dimmer and broke to a painful crack.
Indeed, yeah, numbers look scary, even when we are not taking mathematic exams. And now I know why my dad is always horrified whenever the mobile phone and other bills showed up at our mailbox. And I also understand why whenever the dollars drop, drop, drop, everyone is so panic.
Haiz...numbers...although it may look cool on the back of someone, especially when they are worn by some famous people that we love, but still just like mathematics, they make your head ache and your heart twitch once in a while.
Gotta go,
the time now is 1:48 a.m. (so past my bedtime)
and the music of the night is "Master of Puppets" by David Garrett.
Take Care Now, Bye Bye Then :)
Love and Peace,
Yuliana :)
Not only are they confusing to calculate sometimes (when it comes to too many amounts and zeroes), they can be very frightening too.
Especially the time when we... for the sake of all the convenience, use it invisibly.
And yes, I am referring to you dear Credit Cards.
Okay, before I rant on, maybe I should put some of the blame on myself for buying things in a flight of fancy these few days.
But well, all that items are by ALL means, functional needs.
Really.
They are clothes.
And I need clothes.
And I need them to revamp myself from my outdated looks.
:p (opps)
Well, anyway, back to numbers and my fright night moment with them.
Yeah, so you know what, I had been, you know, using invisible money for one way or another (and for some time) and, yeah, talking about this, brings me to point no.2 to my own biggest mistakes:
I forgot to replace my book keeping book. Thus all these money that I had spent, I had not only spent them invisibly, but also blindly.
With no records whatsoever.
Therefore, after 3 months of not keeping track with my own financial situation, suddenly yesterday, when I was calculating the amount I spent, TO MY BIGGEST NIGHTMARE, which is even more scary that Elm's Street, I realized that I had spent such a big BOMB that it burnt a big hole in my "pocket" right now.
And you know what, as I was pressing madly on daddy's calculator I could feel the mocking smile of the freaking money getting wider and wider!
On the other hand, my heart was growing dimmer and dimmer and almost, broke into a million pieces. But well, since it's only almost, so maybe I should re-phrase the sentence and said that my heart grows dimmer and broke to a painful crack.
Indeed, yeah, numbers look scary, even when we are not taking mathematic exams. And now I know why my dad is always horrified whenever the mobile phone and other bills showed up at our mailbox. And I also understand why whenever the dollars drop, drop, drop, everyone is so panic.
Haiz...numbers...although it may look cool on the back of someone, especially when they are worn by some famous people that we love, but still just like mathematics, they make your head ache and your heart twitch once in a while.
Gotta go,
the time now is 1:48 a.m. (so past my bedtime)
and the music of the night is "Master of Puppets" by David Garrett.
Take Care Now, Bye Bye Then :)
Love and Peace,
Yuliana :)
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