The Close Door

"This is your receipt ma'am, thank you"

"Okay, thank you" i said to the girl at the counter. After stuffing all my stuffs inside my purse, i walked out of the building slowly.

Just then, a man with white Tee-shirt and navy blue jeans walked past me. His side view immediately remains me of him.

It has been a while, since the last time i think of him. Then just like a snap of a finger, it crept its way back to my mind after i saw that stanger.

Curious, my gazed followed the direction of his movement. My heart leapt in a mixture of feelings of hope, happiness and awkwardness. Sensing that someone was staring at him, the stranger in white turned. Caught me in the eye. Startled, i glanced away quickly with disappointment.

'What's with that eyes? and that question? dont he remember me anymore?' these questions kept twirling in my mind throughout the journey...

He turned to look at me. 'It was him.' i thought to myself with joy for such an unexpected luck. I smiled at him and waved. He looked at me blankly, hesistated then waved awkwardly. Puzzled, i moved forward and patted him on the shoulder. "Dont you remember me?' i asked with a laugh and raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, do i know me?" he asked politely. I felt so embarassed as i asked him " aren't you..." i paused for a second thoght , thenn decided to bring it on "Jared. You are Jared Colled are'nt you?" The confused man nodded. " I'm Sandra, you high school friend...best friend. Don't you remember?'

He bit his lip , his stare did not dare to meet mine. " Sorry ...i'm sorry miss but i think...i never met you before."

I was taken aback. "Oh...I'm sorry. Maybe i got the wrong person. What a small world, your name resembles with my friends' I'm sorry about it." I stumbled in putting the words to my lip. Immediately, i turned and ran to the direction of the train station, without even waiting for his reply.

I stepped out if the train to the next station and sat on one of the bench. The previous incident had struck me to the core of my soul, leaving me lifeless. In the silence of the empty station, i began to weep.

"Hey Jared what took you so long?" A man in his fifties asked him as he entered the car.

'Sorry dad something happened earlier."

"What happened? Did you faint again?' he asked concernly jerking forward to look at his son. " No, not that sort. Just....something i cant quite explain, until we reach home." Puzzled, but does not want to force his son, Lukas Colled shrugged and stated the engine. "Just dont push yourself so hard, it's bad for you.' he assured.

Jared smiled weakly as he tried to remember her name and her identity.

I arrived at home with puffy eyes. I then went straight into my room without having any meals or a wash up like i usually do, and collapsed on the bed. Soon i found myself falling into a deep sleep. In my sleep, i dreamt of Jared and I as a high school students eight years ago. How splendid the years had passed. My tears awakened me. "You idiot, how can you forget about me." i cried bitterly to the air...

Monday morning on 1998

"Sandra, i have to leave the country." Jared said one day. Shocked, Sandra looked at him wide eyes. "Why? What for?"

"My father's business and argh....anyway, i have to go with them, so you know, take care when i'm not around and keep in touch." he said after explaning the whole reasons. Sandra who was seventeen then, was not able to do anything despite of her attempt to make him stay.

For a few years the two teenagers kept in touch, until one day, Jared stop sending any letters or emails. Sandra had been saddened by it and though evil thoughts had tempted her to think that Jared had forgotten her, she insisted on thinking the positive way.

However, today's incindent had proven that Jared had completely dumped her out of his memory. Therefore, she decided that perhaps, it was also time for her to forget about him too. Even if she wants so desperately to ask Jared what happened to him., but where in earth is she to find him. His email address had expired, his address on the other country had not been in used anymore. She was told by the postman a few years ago that the place had been demolished.

Thus, it seems that her chance of meeting him is zero. Even though she felt herself still wanting to cling on her hope of finding him, she was too tired of hoping for the impossible. The unknown.

Therefore with broken heart, she closes the door of the memory of her past and move on.

Epilogue

Jared sat on his bed and closed his eyes. 'Who is she. A friend? how can i dont even have a vivid memory of her then? Sa....what's her name again?' Jared twitch in pain as his brain gave a sting. 'who is she? Who is that?' he asked himself. 'argh...what am i suppose to do to remember the past?' he whisperred in teary eyes.

Wednesday 19th February 2001

Jared opened his eyes slowly and was clueless about where is he or who were those faces who were staring at him, asking him questions. " Who are you? who am i? He found himself blurted out the words, which caused a howl of cry by his mother.

"Jared, I'm your father, you are Jared. dont you remember?"

'No" he said weakly-----

That morning, a couple of days ago, Jared was crossing the road, when a speeding truck kncoked him down. His head hit the asphalt which caused him not only to lose his consciousness, but also his memories. Since then, Jared had closed the door of his past, for no matter how hard he tried to remember them, he just could not do so. Moreover, he could not carry on stressing himself with his memories or his blood clot will burst and cost his life.

Jared searched for the photo album his mother kep in the attic. He brushed off the dust from the album cover anf opened it. He was suprised and in the same time touch at the pictures before him. The picture of Sandra and himself. "So...i'm indeed, the Jared you are looking for....Sa...girl." he said sadly.

Unfortunately, just like Sandra, Jared knows that things would never be the same for both of them. He would never meet her again, nor he would ever be the same Jared she used to know.

sometimes you never knew the answer, until...

Amazing. is the word i can describe after reading this book. Every turn of page is a lesson learnt and an unexpected things that we may never even realise it in our daily lifes.

How sometimes in life we had hurt/ killed others without even realising it, or what had others done to us for good, but we thought it the other way round. "The five people you meet in heaven" allows us to think of such an event in life and you will never regret it even to the last page.

quotes from the book "Sometimes, when you sacrifice something precious, you are not really losing it.You're just passing it on to someone else."

in love with dracula? yesh i do

Blood. Fangs. Black Cape. These are all that happened in this story book about dracula by the famous horror writer R.L. Stine!!!

I really love this story book as this is the first time i get encountered with such a hair raising yet charming creature of the night. The Dracula. Trevor Fier is that handsome and gentle dracula. Somehow, when u read about it, u can feel sad for him as unlike the other deadly creatures, he is one of the tame one. (rare eh?) and his story is kind of heart breaking. Therefore, if you hope to find out more about his life and love for the girl of his dream Elenor, you may want to put a side sometime to flip the pages from this book.

( once again...gee it is an old book of Stine, and the only one i kept in my shelf. because it is just so bloody good!!! )

lol, i know this is crazy, but because of this book, several times in the past i used to love dracula and hope to meet one like trevor. luckily, i cast away the spell out of me already and in love with humans now...hahahaha ( but if can meet dracula? nice one? y not hahaha )

ok tank u everyone for ur time and attention.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeee and take care

this book is one of my favourite children story by Roald Dahl so far besides Charlie and the Chocolate factory, Matilda, The BFG and Witch. This book, Fantastic Mr Fox, i knew it from Nicky Bryne from westlife. somehow, the title really eye catching to me and thus i decided to read it. It is very simple and relaxing book, about a fox family whose life was about to be ruined by the humans. because these foxes, especially mr fox like to steal food from their kitchen every night. Thus, annoyed, the humans decided to explode the underground world where all the foxes are living. ( sorry if there is any mistakes on the story's caption ) therefore, if you want to know more about the survival skills that Mr fox suggested to the other foxes, and how they tried to escape from the humans clutches, you may search for this book at the book store around you. ( ps: it's kind of an old book, so maybe it may be quite difficult, but no matter what, it is a worth reading book. ) =)

tank u for your time and take care.

cheers!!!

Gbu

recommended book by me =)

this book of loyal friendship really touched me to the bottom of my heart. it was so mesmerising that every page really brings me to the exact scenery of Kabul. It made me laugh, cry and smile all at the same time. Khaled Hosseini is really a talented writer. after i read this book, for a moment i felt that my journey to becoming a good writer is still a longgggggg longgggggg way to go. However, tanks to this book, i learnt a good lesson of the outside world, true friendship that is so pure as well as writing technique that is totally breathtaking. Thus, i hope to share it to all of you out there and i hope that you too will be captivated by this story book as much as i do.

hallow everyone this is yuliana.
well so ya below this is the story i just created yesterday.
well, basically as always, what happened to charles happened to me a year ago, and i was on my way to my tutor's home, and caught up in the rain and i decided to talk to God.
i was in a confussion that day and i was involved in so many unfortunate event that drained out all my energies thus, in between tears and tiresome, i decided to ask for His guidance.
so just like charles, the bus stop at bukit timah road is a memorable bus stop for me. =p
however, i just want u to know that, in life there are many tings that are unknown to us, however, no matter what, just trust in God always and definitely He will make ur path straight again.

For my friends who are non- believer, i know it may sound crazy for u, but i just want u to remember that in case in life u ever felt so lost and dejected, or no one seems to take a minute to listen to u, just call out for God and say whatever you want to say to Him for he is a good- listening- ear God and He will definitely listen to your sorrows even to the deepest. then, if it seems that He has not ans any of wat You are asking for, dont be discourage, for it does not mean that He is turning a deaf ear, indeed, He is actually preparing the best way out for u. so keep praying and wait patiently. look out for the signal He is giving. and well, i dont know how He will do it with you, but i hope you can feel His grace too.

God bless all of you always and i pray that all of you are doing great out there.
take care

love always,
Yuliana Kasman

A Lesson Learnt

One night, a girl, came before the Lord.
She looked at Him with blankness in her eyes. Slowly, she took a seat beside the Lord, leaving some gap in between, for after all that had happened to her, she found herself unable to face the Lord as easy as before.

With downcast eyes, she asked the Lord coldly “What do you want from me? Why do you have to do this to me?”
The Lord looked at her with compassion in His eyes, but she remained in her position.
“This is not fair, God, I mean, why do I always have to be the one torn in pieces? I mean, I know You are good and you meant to teach me something out of this, but….why it has to be this way? Must it always be the hard way?” she asked weakly, almost to tears. “I don’t think I can do it God.”
“Yes you can” The Lord replied gently “I never assigned anything beyond your ability. You just need sometime to overcome it, and as you try your best to do it, I will provide a way out, so that you can stand up under it.”
“But, I am not as generous as You, as to forgive one so easily.” The girl complaint
“What makes you think it is easy for me to forgive you? Have you not remember that I have feelings too?”
Startled, the girl looked at Him and was ashamed of herself. “I’m sorry” she said in a whisper “I’m sorry for taking advantage of you at times when I made a sin without thinking twice to prevent it. I’m sorry I thought you…” she found herself out of words. She felt guilty now, for all these while she had forgotten about the Lord’s feeling and had took His kindness for granted.
“But…I really meant what I said, when I confessed my sins every night, God.” She said defensively.
“I know, but why did you do it again and again, if you really meant what you said, even after your daily confession?”
The girl was silence, for she found no answer to the Lord’s unexpected questions.
“Well, honestly, I know I can forgive those who had prosecute me…just that, I don’t feel like doing so…I mean…it’s difficult; but, I found myself unable to face you with this feeling of disobedient in me because I know You hate those who disobeyed you…especially those who hate their own brothers…but, I can’t obey You God…not now…I mean…I don’t know, I found myself unable to do it the way You wanted me to.” The girl paused to bit her lips and said with a perplexed look on her face “What should I do God?”
The Lord looked at His creation sadly and said with gentle voice “Just do what you think is best from you and I will guide you along the way.” He then stretched out his hand to pat the girl’s head.
“Thank you God” she said with teary eyes and with her head rested on the Lord’s knee as she knelt before Him. She was so embarrassed for what she had done that she found herself unable to face Him. “I’m sorry. Would you please…forgive me?” she said in a soft whisper in between tears.
The Lord smiled and once again put His almighty hand on her bowing head then said “I forgive you, my child; and remember that the Lord always hears your cry and sorrow. He is filled with compassion to comfort those who need Him. Therefore, don’t You ever walked alone again, for apart of me, you can do nothing.”