wisdom quotes

this is one of the quotes i found during class, and i really like it very much

Our ideals resemble the stars, which illuminate the night. No one will ever be able to touch them. But the men who, like the sailors on the ocean, take them for guides, will undoubtedly reach their goal.
carl schurz

okay, so this is basically the scene of what happened one month ago.

we were told to present for the module on mathematics and computing that day, and we were suppose to make a game out of the visual studio. so if u notice in the beginning that activa whispered about the quotes right, ya that code basically is the code to make the game move. so that the buttons that we created based on our code can move whatever object we were making for tat day. and it was on that presentation, when the lecturer shoot me a question about the long codes that i had long forgotten after a hard days of working ,( haha, my memory betrayed me ). so okay, thats basically what happened in the scene of the starting of the story. and that was also the reason why i was tongue tied. not only the nervousness had already hunted me the sudden qns made me totally clueless... i felt totally doomed that day. haha but thank God, i met nice team mates who helped me out of my shit and as a matter of factly they think the opposite from me. (envy their optimism hahaha)

i remembered crying under the heavy rain...(sniff*) and i was wobbling like a drunkard on my way home. That the moment i reached, i collapsed on my bed and sleep (sleeping somehow is one of my way of relieving stress or anger...haha okay i know it sounds weird but thats the way it goes...and it is already in my nature...) then that night like mentioned in the story, i apologised. and that were somehow, the replies i got from all of them. i was so touched....ohh my God... because i really tot i was screwed that day.
and ohhh if u are wondering why there's no name mention in the story right, well basically this is because i want to keep my friends privacy. haha and of course i hope that as they read they know it themselves..
Somehow, their optimism and support had made me overcome my fears and able to continue thinking positive. like them. lol


and since they had save me once, i hope i can save them too one day. =) pay back gratitude.

ps: well, basically this story too is a dedication to them. because the experieced (though its awful) had put some ideas to my mind and allows this story to be created. i hope u like it and i hope that the school magazine may want to post this in their coming issue.... haha so whoever read this please PRAY for me that the school will like it.

Thank you.....thank you ....thank you....very much...=)

God bless you all

coming up next

haha coming up next,it will be a new story once again based on my own experience, a sucky experience in fact....haha and basically just a brief sketch of what happened to my life in my new school. ya, so, hope u enjoy it and i may be posting it soon enough.

hallow everyone this is yuliana.
this time, my story is about two friends who are departed due to an illness. well, actually at first i wanted to make it in such a way that a girl was missing someone out there and hoping for his return. however, along the way as i write, another idea came to my mind and i feel that the prev ideas are bland. there has been millions of stories of such. be it in poem or prose. therefore, i decided to follow the second insperation which involves someone who had lost his memories and thus, her hope is vanish. it is kind of an unexpected sadness, till the end of the story and if you are wondering why didnt i make it in such a way that they manage to get in touch again by all the modern technology in the world, well...i purposely leave the story hanging in the air, and leave it to you to feel up all the empty spaces. so just comment me how u wish it should end etc.

ps: and besides as this is the first time i write it in a back and forth angle, i hope you wont get out of track. thank you and once again, hope you enjoy it all =)

love always,
Me =)

The Close Door

"This is your receipt ma'am, thank you"

"Okay, thank you" i said to the girl at the counter. After stuffing all my stuffs inside my purse, i walked out of the building slowly.

Just then, a man with white Tee-shirt and navy blue jeans walked past me. His side view immediately remains me of him.

It has been a while, since the last time i think of him. Then just like a snap of a finger, it crept its way back to my mind after i saw that stanger.

Curious, my gazed followed the direction of his movement. My heart leapt in a mixture of feelings of hope, happiness and awkwardness. Sensing that someone was staring at him, the stranger in white turned. Caught me in the eye. Startled, i glanced away quickly with disappointment.

'What's with that eyes? and that question? dont he remember me anymore?' these questions kept twirling in my mind throughout the journey...

He turned to look at me. 'It was him.' i thought to myself with joy for such an unexpected luck. I smiled at him and waved. He looked at me blankly, hesistated then waved awkwardly. Puzzled, i moved forward and patted him on the shoulder. "Dont you remember me?' i asked with a laugh and raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, do i know me?" he asked politely. I felt so embarassed as i asked him " aren't you..." i paused for a second thoght , thenn decided to bring it on "Jared. You are Jared Colled are'nt you?" The confused man nodded. " I'm Sandra, you high school friend...best friend. Don't you remember?'

He bit his lip , his stare did not dare to meet mine. " Sorry ...i'm sorry miss but i think...i never met you before."

I was taken aback. "Oh...I'm sorry. Maybe i got the wrong person. What a small world, your name resembles with my friends' I'm sorry about it." I stumbled in putting the words to my lip. Immediately, i turned and ran to the direction of the train station, without even waiting for his reply.

I stepped out if the train to the next station and sat on one of the bench. The previous incident had struck me to the core of my soul, leaving me lifeless. In the silence of the empty station, i began to weep.

"Hey Jared what took you so long?" A man in his fifties asked him as he entered the car.

'Sorry dad something happened earlier."

"What happened? Did you faint again?' he asked concernly jerking forward to look at his son. " No, not that sort. Just....something i cant quite explain, until we reach home." Puzzled, but does not want to force his son, Lukas Colled shrugged and stated the engine. "Just dont push yourself so hard, it's bad for you.' he assured.

Jared smiled weakly as he tried to remember her name and her identity.

I arrived at home with puffy eyes. I then went straight into my room without having any meals or a wash up like i usually do, and collapsed on the bed. Soon i found myself falling into a deep sleep. In my sleep, i dreamt of Jared and I as a high school students eight years ago. How splendid the years had passed. My tears awakened me. "You idiot, how can you forget about me." i cried bitterly to the air...

Monday morning on 1998

"Sandra, i have to leave the country." Jared said one day. Shocked, Sandra looked at him wide eyes. "Why? What for?"

"My father's business and argh....anyway, i have to go with them, so you know, take care when i'm not around and keep in touch." he said after explaning the whole reasons. Sandra who was seventeen then, was not able to do anything despite of her attempt to make him stay.

For a few years the two teenagers kept in touch, until one day, Jared stop sending any letters or emails. Sandra had been saddened by it and though evil thoughts had tempted her to think that Jared had forgotten her, she insisted on thinking the positive way.

However, today's incindent had proven that Jared had completely dumped her out of his memory. Therefore, she decided that perhaps, it was also time for her to forget about him too. Even if she wants so desperately to ask Jared what happened to him., but where in earth is she to find him. His email address had expired, his address on the other country had not been in used anymore. She was told by the postman a few years ago that the place had been demolished.

Thus, it seems that her chance of meeting him is zero. Even though she felt herself still wanting to cling on her hope of finding him, she was too tired of hoping for the impossible. The unknown.

Therefore with broken heart, she closes the door of the memory of her past and move on.

Epilogue

Jared sat on his bed and closed his eyes. 'Who is she. A friend? how can i dont even have a vivid memory of her then? Sa....what's her name again?' Jared twitch in pain as his brain gave a sting. 'who is she? Who is that?' he asked himself. 'argh...what am i suppose to do to remember the past?' he whisperred in teary eyes.

Wednesday 19th February 2001

Jared opened his eyes slowly and was clueless about where is he or who were those faces who were staring at him, asking him questions. " Who are you? who am i? He found himself blurted out the words, which caused a howl of cry by his mother.

"Jared, I'm your father, you are Jared. dont you remember?"

'No" he said weakly-----

That morning, a couple of days ago, Jared was crossing the road, when a speeding truck kncoked him down. His head hit the asphalt which caused him not only to lose his consciousness, but also his memories. Since then, Jared had closed the door of his past, for no matter how hard he tried to remember them, he just could not do so. Moreover, he could not carry on stressing himself with his memories or his blood clot will burst and cost his life.

Jared searched for the photo album his mother kep in the attic. He brushed off the dust from the album cover anf opened it. He was suprised and in the same time touch at the pictures before him. The picture of Sandra and himself. "So...i'm indeed, the Jared you are looking for....Sa...girl." he said sadly.

Unfortunately, just like Sandra, Jared knows that things would never be the same for both of them. He would never meet her again, nor he would ever be the same Jared she used to know.

sometimes you never knew the answer, until...

Amazing. is the word i can describe after reading this book. Every turn of page is a lesson learnt and an unexpected things that we may never even realise it in our daily lifes.

How sometimes in life we had hurt/ killed others without even realising it, or what had others done to us for good, but we thought it the other way round. "The five people you meet in heaven" allows us to think of such an event in life and you will never regret it even to the last page.

quotes from the book "Sometimes, when you sacrifice something precious, you are not really losing it.You're just passing it on to someone else."

in love with dracula? yesh i do

Blood. Fangs. Black Cape. These are all that happened in this story book about dracula by the famous horror writer R.L. Stine!!!

I really love this story book as this is the first time i get encountered with such a hair raising yet charming creature of the night. The Dracula. Trevor Fier is that handsome and gentle dracula. Somehow, when u read about it, u can feel sad for him as unlike the other deadly creatures, he is one of the tame one. (rare eh?) and his story is kind of heart breaking. Therefore, if you hope to find out more about his life and love for the girl of his dream Elenor, you may want to put a side sometime to flip the pages from this book.

( once again...gee it is an old book of Stine, and the only one i kept in my shelf. because it is just so bloody good!!! )

lol, i know this is crazy, but because of this book, several times in the past i used to love dracula and hope to meet one like trevor. luckily, i cast away the spell out of me already and in love with humans now...hahahaha ( but if can meet dracula? nice one? y not hahaha )

ok tank u everyone for ur time and attention.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeee and take care