A fiction
Under the rain a woman collapsed to the ground as her world turned upside down.
With the little strength she has with her, she looked at the figure that was walking further and further way from her.
The figure was moving so slow, yet it seems so fast that underneath the heavy rain, it seems like a blurry image in her eyes.
She stared and continues to stare even after the figure already become a little thin line among the crowds.
With her thin wet hands she hid her face.
As she closed her eyes in between her tears, traces of memories of how good they were once before all these things happened came to mind.
“I love you” he had said many times.
Unfortunately, her heart which belongs to someone else, could not accept his feeling and this made her to make the hardest thing in life- to hurt the man who loves her.
They’ve met long before he met that other girl.
It was love at first sight for him.
And ever since then, he had spent using all his time, mind, efforts, strengths and even days thinking about her. Hoping he will meet her again.
Sadly, time was cruel.
They hardly met.
So he waited.
And he waited longer.
Until one day, after all the hopeless waits he decided to let her out of his mind.
But then she came back.
She recognizes him.
She called him by name.
They talked like an old friend.
They laughed like best friends.
And some people even think that they got together.
He knows in that instant that they will never part.
But he was wrong.
Despite her physical presence, her heart belongs to somewhere he can never reach.
So he tried to win it back.
But sadly it never went towards his direction.
He was not convinced.
He gave it another try.
Harder this time. And even more deeply he tried to go, into understanding the depth of her heart and yet what he found was nothing but a saddening truth.
Her heart had gone too far.
And to make it worst, it had found its resting place.
And it had lies itself comfortably in the heart of another man.
Broken and tired his heart rested behind his fatigue ribs.
The man’s breath took its turn to function, making him to breathe faster than he should.
Soon, the man found himself gasping as tears rolled down his cheeks.
From the distance, he looked at her.
The woman who broke his heart, but surprisingly, despite the hurtful event, he has not the heart to hate her.
He loved her too much to hate her.
So he decided to keep his love to himself.
Unfortunately his love continues to stir in its place.
Seeking for a challenge.
Looking for a competition.
The man tried to brush it aside and focus all his attention to the other girl whom he had met two years later.
Unfortunately, she was nothing like that girl.
Not even in the shades of her hair or a tint of her characters.
Then he began to battle with himself.
He knows his love still longs for that girl.
His heart still skips its beats for her.
In the end, he did the unthinkable.
Though his brain permits him to say, his heart and his tongue push the words forward to the tip of his tongue and soon to the centre of his lip. Making him to say the words he had almost forgotten how to say the day he decided to keep his love to himself.
“I love you.” He said for the seventh time (if he did not remember wrongly) when they met again one day.
The girl looked at him shocked before she changed her gaze with tenderness.
She smiled a gentle smile.
“Thank you.” She replied gently.
He looked at her without moving a muscle. “I really love you.” He continued.
Another smile.
“I love you very much.” He suggested.
The girl smiled and shrugged. “Thank you. But I can’t.” she said slowly.
“Why?” he demanded.
“You know the reason why.” she replied gently, cautiously.
He looked at her speechless.
“Look, I really thank you for loving me and I’m sorry, I ca…” before she could finish, he pulled her to his side and sealed her lip with his kiss.
He does not want her to continue.
He knows the reason.
Of course he does. And it makes the more reason why he does not want her to remind him with that fact on his face.
He pressed his lip closer, she feels so good that he does not want to let her go.
He pulled her in.
And soon, he found his hands holding onto her back and down to her waist as he pulled her even closer to him.
She tried to set herself free off his arms.
“Please…” she pleaded.
He grabbed her face and stared into her frightened eyes.
“Please…” she pleaded pushing him away.
He releases his fingers from her pale face.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “Are you okay?’ he asked trying to brush a hair from her face. She responded quickly with a hand “I can do it myself.” She said moving away from him.
She walked away from him without turning back.
In her rush she had forgotten to take her bag with her.
“Wait!” he called out rushing for her.
She pretended she did not hear him and quickened her pace.
“Fiona wait up!” he called out running faster. Then when she did not stop, he rushed forward and stood in front of her.
“What do you want from me?” Fiona asked irritated.
The man looked at her angered expression.
He was ashamed of himself.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized again.
She let out an exasperated sigh. “You are attached aren’t you?’ she asked licking her dried lips.
“Aren’t you?” She asked when he didn’t say a word.
He nodded.
“Then what’s that for?”
He could not give her an answer.
“What happen to you?” She asked then finding that there’s no reason for her to stay, she took her bag from him and began to walk away.
“I love you!” he shouted behind her. “I just want you to know that I love you. Even all these while, I still love you.”
“Do you ever think about what your girlfriend is gonna think if she knows that you are saying all these to me?” she asked screaming at him. “You are horrible, Darren.”
“Then tell me what can I do to forget about you?”
She stared at him speechless.
Then after a moment’s thought, “don’t ever look for me again.” She said coldly.
There was a tremble in her voice when she said those words.
She didn’t mean to hurt him but maybe it is for the better.
He stood motionless as she walked with her hands clutching tightly to her bag.
He waited for her turn around.
She didn’t.
He waited a little more.
But still she continued to walk forward.
Dejected and hurtful, he began to move his numb feet, still with his eyes fix on her back.
Then as his eyes went into a blur, he turned his back to where she was walking and began to walk.
In a distance she turned, walking back a little to the place she had just left a few minutes ago.
She stared as his figure moved slowly, lifelessly.
She raised a finger to her lip to prevent herself from making a sound that will make him turned back to see her.
And then in the middle of the rain that had poured as if it knows what had happened between them and let out its natural cry, she collapses on the ground and cried.
In between her tears she tried to search a glimpse of him which has become a thin line among the crowds and wished with all her heart that he will be alright.
Yuliana :)
16/Jan/2011
