Lifeless

Hearts heavy
Eyes fatigue
Hands shivers
Tears dried

I never know that losing you is such a burden to my heart
Or maybe, I know, its just that I have never thought about it before
that you will leave us so soon...
so fast...
too soon to be true.

Every now and then I dreamed of you
Thinking
Wishing
that I could meet you again.

Happy?
Yeah baby! sure you do.
It's gonna be a long long time till we meet again...
hehe you sure you still gonna remember who I am?
Alright, I believe.
I believe okay.

Gosh...how I wish I asked more questions and shared more things with you
the day we met.
If only I knew that the time limit was so precious.

But it's okay, guess its not wise to regret it now...
and I'm glad that we did found one another...
I miss you man...
I really do...
it may just be a 45 minutes walk but it is enough to make me
missing you so much...
that goes to show how influential you are right...
hehe

Anyway, hope that I will be able to get on with life, the way you do
alright...
goodbye...take care

Love always,
Me

For a Moment
I miss you
how i wish it could last longer
even though I shouldn't have asked for more.

Thank You Lord

Thank You Lord (A Prayer)

How great can one to feel that You are never a breath away
You know me inside out
Despite of the way You seems so far away.
You show me the way when I was lost
and guide me the way when I want to walk
You never leaves me even for a while

My life is in Your hand
My path is in your plan
You know what I need
and You know what I am seeking or feeling
It may not be hard
to confess
Unfortunately egoism spread its way
to hide it away

Due to that, I was unable to confess
I was unable to say out how I feel
if it was not You who force me to say it all

If it was not You who forked out all the feelings inside
to make me be honest with myself
I may not be able to feel so good now

God, thank you
for all the wonders You have shown to me
all the amazing grace You've shown me the moment I took up the decision
to be the one
who believes

Thank you God
for appointing me such an important task
for appointing me such a wonderful task
that can make people feel contented
at least it managed to make them laugh
and even at the eleventh hour
they can still feel his laughter and his habits
thank You Lord...

Thank you for the revelation
for revealing the bits and pieces
of information
from one being to another
and God, You know
it is really a blessing to see such a wonderful seeing of Your world and glory

Thank you for the chances we were given
for all that had happened in within that 45 minutes walk
Perhaps it is hard to fathom
and no one would have ever believed it either
if it's not by faith
But I know
at least I know that You had made his wish accomplished

You had made his wish accomplished.
and you had made him glad as he let out the words he wished to say

Thank you Lord
for giving such a great man to be my friend
my little brother
my brave cousin
my inspiration

Thank You Lord
for allowing me the time to grief
to give thanks
to achieve
to let go
to reach out
to bond
and most of all
to know that he is with God FOREVER AND EVER

Thank You Lord
Thank You
Thank You
Thank You so much SO MUCH
for everything
for all the things
for everything
everything

Thank You Lord
Thank You...
even for the tears we shed
the smile we exchanged
the grief we shared
the fear
the wonders
the love
the burden
Thank you Lord

Thank You






Till we meet again little man

"cici juga sayang kok sama koko
sampe ketemu lagi ya
Goodbye
little angel"

Kasih yang sempurna telah
ku trima dariMu
bukan karna kebaikan ku
hanya oleh kasih karuniaMu
Kau pulih kan aku...

Kau bri yang ki pinta...
saat ku mencari ku mendapatkan
ku ketuk pintuMu dan Kau bukakan
S'bab Kau bapaku bapa yang Kekal...

Tak kan kau biarkan
aku melangkah hanya sendirian
Kau selalu ada bagiKu
s'bab Kau bapaku
Bapa yang kekal...

Saturday

It was amazing...to know that you were there watching, waiting, coming to find your way to me.
I know it was you the moment I saw you there.
I know, even if we have hardly met.
It was a beautiful scenery the day I saw you walking among those grasses
smiling, walking, laughing
It was even more beautiful when you were born I suppose.

However, now that your life has come to the last chapter.
I believe you understand the reason why.
I know I may not be there to play with you anymore...
but I know we will play again the way we did the other time.

I know you want to see me
I was glad that I found you too
I was glad you know how I feel about you and your brother.
I love you baby brother...
it will be sometime till we meet again...
but let's wait...
shall we wait?
we wait okay...
we wait for one another to be reunited...forever.

Till then, I don't mind you stay naughty the way you are...
haha it was really fun to see the playful side of you...
and even more fun to see you laughing back at me the way you escorted me to where you are.
I will do my best to take care of him ok.
I will do my best to make them understand and to make them stay in this city I am living now.
Okay...Okay naughty boy...

Till we meet again okay...
Till we meet again for the second or perhaps the third...
Till we meet again...

"Sampe ketemu lagi ya Win, dadahhh"

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

John Newton (1725-1807)

Sleepy.
Unfortunately the mind seems to have disobeyed the order of the body.
Sleepy, tired body that longed to stay in the bed as long as the day break.
But i feel so bored...
damn it...
I wonder what made me so bored all the time.
Could it be the absence of Mr. Tall?
or could it be the absence of old friends?
I don't know.
But these days had been so boring...
I was living hella boring kind of life, and I wonder if the coming of Lee Min Ho is going to make some excitement. Do you think?

Story books, I have been missing story books.
But there are so many books for me to read and so many books in the shelves left unread.
I wonder when the hell will I ever gonna finish every chapter of it.

Hold on, I think I know the reason to my sleepless mode.
The time.
The commitment.
The motivation for a better me.
It stresses me out.
Stresses me out of me...
Out of the actual me.
I should have known it.

I wonder what am I suppose to do to become a better me?
to become a better sleeper in the night?
to lead a healthy life.
But the problem is I cant sleep.
Everytime I was about to sleep, I can't sleep.
why?
I dont know...
shit...

I can't sleep again...
again
and again
and
again.

maybe the stress level is high huahaha
maybe the jealousy level is creeping its way back..
or could it be other stupid emotions...
haiz...
to list it, I think I will not be able to sleep till tomorrow.

Fine then, got to go...

waduhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
gila gila gila...
udah lama banget nga nulis di blog...
hehe
udah mau mulai crapping lagi nih...
lol lol
lama lama gua bisa jadi kaya Brandon deh...
nulis blog, 3 bulan sekali, sekali tulis langsung sepanjang panjang kepala jerapah...
haha
well anyway, udah gunting rambut lagi lho...
kali ini lebih pendek lagi...huahaha jadi nga bisa di iket...ya bagus juga lah...
iket reseh..lol lol
dan akirnya gua bisa foto foto sama org organ di depan ION yg tinggin banget...
jadi susah posenya...lol lol
ok deh kalo gitu...ntar di upload deh ya photonya lol

got to go...
sekolah nih...
males banget....kenapa sih, weekend always ended so quickly?
cape d....
haha

Yuliana

16th Oct 2009

Cloudy

The weather seems to understand the emotions that we feel.
Confusion. Fear. Sadness. Anxieties.Hope.
All mixed together into one seemingly emotions that we could not describe but feel.

But even to feel, we didnt know which is which...
for the feeling seems to have correlate with each other....
perhaps we should consider to surrender
perhaps we should consider to stay strong...instead of getting weak upon hearing it.
But how are we to become immune when we never know what is going to happen?
when what's going to happen is always so unexpected...and threatening....

Maybe we should really pray altogether...
maybe we should really shout...shout to the Lord
saying: God help us! Please help us!
there's so many things we didn't know but please help us.
if we can't do much, well at least to depend on You.
To rely on You
and to go too far away from our faith.

Please help us!

Mini Cooper

Anybody wants to buy this sweet car for me? hehehe just for a rough information lol
I saw this car and took a picture of it when I was walking around Ion Orchard, where it all comes together haha
and I was so happy to see so many different coopers that I keep taking piture of it...Unfortunately, when they exhibit some other version of the Cooper, due to the crowd, I was unable to take a picture of it...but well, haha just take note ya, this is my second favorite car besides Lamborghini hahaha

Ohhhh speaking of Lamborghini, last Fri or perhaps Sat, anyway, it was one of those free day of mine, keke...I was walking around Orchard Road again, I can't remember exactly where perhaps around Robinsons there, ya, so there I was standing, waiting for the traffic light to turn red and for the green man sign to appear...suddenly, zooooooommmmmmmmmm

ouhhhhh BABY!!! a beautiful sound indeed... the damn car drove past me and I was like (wahhhhhhh) damn enchanted by the way it drove off so smoothly with such a smooth beautiful sound not too high not too low, and most importantly not too noisy to be heard! hahaha I hate noisy cars....lol

Well, anyway, hope that I can have one of those coops one day as well as hehe and if I have it, I think I will want to put it red/ yellow or maybe baby blue with white strips at the front? hehe then the whole car appearance will look like the colorful color in Speed Racer HAHAHA HAPPY!!!! or maybe put it in some colors will also be sexy! lol lol

Anyway, happy today because I have no school =)))) and ya so far for these 2 days, the days had been good.. =)

Though I'm still lazy if I am to self-intro myself lol lol
and the idea of starting a convo still thrills me
hehe I'm a shy person...though I know most people will not agree with this. haha
but really, I'm shy when it comes to first impression and first conversation. haha

Well, got to go...take care now...
bye bye then

Cheers,
Yuliana

Second Day of school...

I'm beginning to miss everyone now...
everyone from A-Z especially now that I am sitting alone, somewhat 'outcast' in the class that is yet to be mine.
So bored with no one to talk to...and with strangers circling about me....
haiz...
why the hell do we need to be separated all the time?
what's wrong with sticking together till the end?

I'm so lazy to make friend...
So lazy to keep saying "my name is Yuliana"
(keh...) bosen bosen....

How i wish Christmas is here soon...
gee...it's seems so long ago since the last time I write the Christmas Cards...hehe
hopefully this year there will be friends for me to share the joy with...
I mean (duh) of course right? but well hopefully the number of cards to be mailed does not decreased with the number of cards sent last year. =p (tho it means 'pengeluaran bakal lebih banyak =p )

Anyways how I wish that Christmas is here...then another and then...
I will be free...huahaha at least for some time from school, works, and I will be spending the day and the night tucking myself to sleep under the warm cover as I dreamed of the dream I longed to dream of....hehehe

How I wish this morning could last longer...
kehkeh...the idea of sleeping under the warm cover as the rain pours away...
kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa so homey....so sweet....so dreamy...huahahaha welcome to my world...
I wonder how it will be like to sleep under the blanket when it's snowing outside...
hehehee...

anyway...got to go...

take care now...bye bye then...

peace,
Yuliana