till we meet again

I looked at the picture before me
The picture which shows the whole family
He sat in the centre
Dark blue suit and hair neatly comb to the back
His eyes reflect the light of a wise man
A man that is so independent and full of knowledge
Behind those wrinkled face, lies a handsome man
Who once “conquered “the country with his camera, before transferring it in ink
I looked at the house which contains full memory of him
I wonder how long till we meet again
I close my eyes and images of him began to flood
The way he stood by the door waiting for our arrival whenever we came
The way he stood so firmly that his back shows the comfort he gave to his family all these while
The way he smiled whenever we amused him with our stories
But above all the way he loved us the way we are as his grandchildren
I will never forget those images of him
Images of him as he read and write, which after sometime inspired me to be one
This man with such great images and great ambitions had been a great man once
And this man is none other than my grandfather
“I love you grandpa, till we meet again”

today i wake up in the morning and i realised how i miss you. all of you...whoever you are....the people in my heart...and most of all, i tot i was able to accept it, however, it seems that sometimes i still unble to accept the fact that you are not with us anymore. i really miss you cousin...and i'm sorry for the time we didnt manage to spend much time together.

Above the Clouds

He stood under the wide endless sky
Head stooped up and smiled as he saw the silhouette of the airplane flying above his head
With his delicate finger he mimics the movement of the airplane as it took off and landed softly in the disorienting clouds.

He imagine himself as the pilot
His hands clicking, pressing, steering the airplane machine

Soon, he found himself floating, leaning against the wind, leaning against the sky and its clouds that formed numerous patterns.

He found himself so close to the world of clouds that he loves
He found himself weightless and peaceful
He found himself floating up up and up

As he made his journey up above the highest level of all clouds
He found a blue balloon attached with a blue paper plane
It’s golden string glistening under the sun

He reached forward and grabbed it
He turned the paper-plane back and forth to find the name of the sender
It was empty

He looked around him and saw little creatures waving at him on the hard surface of the ground

He smiled

Dedicated to my beloved cousin

It is a blessing to have you as my cousin

till then take care....goodbye

to say i am fine, is just a lie

because it is not....though i know that life has to move on, but still to be far away from those i love at this particullar moment, its just unpleasant. i tink i need some time to really adjust to this life and death situation. or i think i should let out the courage to talk and cry it all out? but i dont know...and i dont want to talk about it anymore...i dont want to talk about all the things that had happened so fast...and so saddening. but i think i should cry all out...huff...i think i should have talk to God about it.

but God, i'm sorry, for the time being i wasnt able to talk to U. i wasnt able to express how i feel to U, even though i know You are sad too about what happen. but i dont know. i was afraid. i was so so scared. i am so scared of doubting You, i am so scared of losing my faith. but most of all, i am so scared of losing myself. i dont know what is in me right now. there's something in me that sounds so heavy, so full of burden. until now, i still believe that it will over soon, but it is just not over. i mean, in me. and until then i wish it is all just a dream. i dont know that the after effect would be stronger.

i wondered, did i really cried out loud that day, when i see the whole process with wide eyes? the tears it just rolled naturally and so quickly, i cant catch up. i wish i could turn back time. i wish i could turn back all the time lost and all the time found. i wish i could talk to God. i wish i could spend a lone time with God, alone. just You and I. and i wish i could fall down on His mighty palm only, where all tears will be wiped and all troubles will be gone. where all burdened will be swipped away from me. i wish....all i could wish for... but most of all i wish....i could hear your voice and hear Your voice........

Ohana

"Ohana means family, family means no one was left behind"

Lilo and Stitch

There's nothing i could write here...it seems that the day i heard about the bad news that shocked my life, my world seems to spin like a roller coaster...everything seems so fast and so hard to catch up with, however, the time seems to move so slowly...
i can accept the facts yes, i can, and i know no matter how hard we cried, he just wont be here with us, and i know that God is with him as well as with us. but sometimes, i wonder, how long will it take for us to meet again. i dont mean to go so soon, but still, the idea that the member of the family is gone...and the idea that someone is missing in all the family occassions is just so hard to feel.

how i wish the time we had together was not that fast and short. i guess, sometimes things arent always that great when it is "short and simple " or "short and sweet" it does not come up to be that "sweet" after all. huff...i dont know either why am i writing all these, but well, i just cant take it....my heart seems like burdened with something. something that i cant quite figure it out. i wanted to write it in a story, but, my mind was blocked and blank that i cant think of any words to descript it...i wish to write a great story about him. about us. in fact everything about him was great, because he was just too perfect for the world. he was the model that God wants us to be. pure and innocent. humble... and hold no begrudge against anything. even when things seems to attack him in every way, he stays faithful and obedient. he stays positive. i guess is because he was just so perfect and because God loves him so much, that He wants him back to His kingdom. Because he had done enough, because he just not fit to be in this cruel world. And God knows that heaven is just the perfect place for him.

i want to write...i want to write something about him. him and us. but maybe i need some time, some time to sort things out, clear my mind and think carefully about it. because it has to be well written, just like the other stories i did. or rather it has to be even better. i planned the plot already, but there's still something missing in it... wish as time past, i can fill up those holes in the middle of the sentences. or i think i have to change the whole plot all over again.

now one thing i wish for is just for nothing to ever happen to our family again. no more...no more deaths. two loss is enough. all of us, which used to be 26 altogether, had become 24 now...its getting lesser..and it's just unpleasant to believe. and i wished that all of us can gather together as often as possible. even though we are far apart. and i wish no one is left behind. i wish no one is ever so far, or so fast for us to reach out for them.

because we are family; and family means no one was left behind.

just come back

lol..i am still on the process of making my courage story...lol it just left the last part, however, but a few days ago, i was away to Hong Kong...haha and have some fun!!!!

just to share a bit of the things i had in Hong Kong
well it was a really exciting country, where the people from all walks of life could be found, and also, hehe i love the city lights which makes the city never falls a sleep. I JUST LOVE SUCH A PLACE lol, because it drains away all the tiresome and streesses. besides, that haha i love the FOOD!!!! whatever food that i ate there, and most of all the DIM SUM!!! hahaha it was very nice...unlike all the dim sum i ate before...lol...and i really like polo bao..i tink so if i was not mistaken with the name...haha and i will definitely wan to go back there again to eat those food in particular the next time i went back to Hong Kong hehe =)

Besides that, i also love the idea of travelling all the way up to the top of the mountain at Ocean Park, with Cable Car...haha i like cable car, it makes me feel so light and close to the sky...as if i'm flying...lol especially when the scenery below and the surrounding was filled with mountains and the sea and island...woohhhh nice.....really really away from all the noise made in the city area. lol

Ohhh i also love the beach at repulse bay, hehe it was somewhere at the top of the mountain too and the scenery was just so splendid that it leaves me breathless... it was the best beach after Pattaya beach.

The Peak, it was marvellous too, a place where one could witness the whole city of Hong Kong. and most of all during the night, when the lights begins to colour the plain buildings in the day time--- that was the most magnificent scenery...i really love it... a man even climb all the way up the stool and took a picture of it...with his nice camera, the camera of my dream...lol

and yeah, well, anyway, haha i am so in a holiday mood right now....lol lol and how i want to go to Korea someday, somewhere in time...lol. and then to Japan, and then to India and see my most favourite building among the 7 wonders of the world, the Taj Mahal...and most of all, i wish, hope and WANT DESPERATELY to go to BARCELONA!!!! it was my dream country...lol ever since i watched meteor garden 2 haiz....Jerry makes me jealous...lol
and so...haha sorry if i have not been updating my new story...

i have so many things in mind for me to write on, but there's so little time and it really needs some time to plan out the whole thing so as to make a good story...so...haha please bear with it...lol

okay everyone, tank u for reading...hope u enjoy it..and have some fun...
God bless u all

take care now...bye bye then =)