When I was young I was loved.
I was fed.
I was listened.
I was showered with love.
When I was older, I learn how to love.
I cared.
I shared.
I sacrificed.
I listened.
I fed.
I showered others with love.
When I am old, I transfered love and taught how to love.
How to care.
How to share.
How to sacrifice.
And how to pass love forward for those who need it.
When I die, I died loved and with love.
I may not last forever, but love does.
Like life, it continues to cycle around us regardless of age.
And accompanied by care it exists in every hearts including yours.
Yuliana
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Mutual Understanding (A fiction)
Danielle ran frantically around the neighbourhood.
"oh god where are you kyle" she thought to herself breathless.
She had been running around the area for more than 10 minutes now and still she could find no trace of kyle.
Earlier they just had a quarrell which led the two of them screaming and shouting and kyle walking away hurt
by what Danielle had said to him.
"Where can he be?" Danielle thought to herself. "kyle is drunk he wouldn't have walked that quickly." it was also because of this reason they fought.
It was not the first time Kyle came back drunk. And it was not the first time they fought over this. But this time it was the worst.
"Oh Kyle i'm so sorry" she thought to herself in the bitter chill of the night.
It has been raining heavily for the last few days and though Danielle was fortunate that the rain had finally stop, but the wind is still unbearable.
She rubbed her palms for some heat and wrapped her arms around her. She was wearing nothing but a thin oversize black tee-shirt and faded pink track pants.
An attire she will never wear outside her own house unless permitted like now.
"Damn Kyle where are you?" she thought as she walked out of Harold's Cafe.
It was their favourite cafe to catch up with supper after a midnight show.
Danielle sat on one of the empty chair at Harold's outdoor tables and wondered where can Kyle be.
Unfortunate, she could think of none and thus, with heavy heart, she decided to walk back and headed home.
Just then in the distance, she saw a familiar figure.
The figure's shoulders were stooping low and heavy. His hair is rugged and messy and his shirt is crumpled and messily tuck out off his trousers.
"Kyle!" Danielle called out dashing towards him.
He continued to walk, ignoring her call.
"Kyle where are you going?" Danielle shouted "wait" she said panting.
Unlike her,Kyle is big built. Standing tall on six foot one.
"Kyle!" Danielle said catching up, Kyle was walking so quickly that she had a hard time chasing him. "Wait up!" she shouted grabbing his hand when she had finally reached his side.
Kyle took his hand roughly from her " what do you want?" he asked without looking at her "i thought you said you dont love me anymore?"
"Kyle listen! I'm sorry okay." Danielle said apologetically. "I didnt mean to hurt you. I just...i was just pissed to see you coming home drunk every night and making a fool of yourself. Can you please stop walking!" Danielle shouted as she stood a few distance away from him.
Kyle stopped and turned to look at his girlfriend. "Wow, you actually get out of the house wearing that? Cool." he said looking at Danielle's sloppy attire.
"Kyle stop joking alright." Danielle said irritated.
"I'm not!" he shouted. "do you see what happen between us? This is what happen, you never believe a single thing that i said. You are always checking on me and think suspicious. You look at me like some losers and compare me with your guy-friends. You show concerns to the people around you, but not to me. You dont even care about how i feel. "he said pausing to catch a breath.
"You know i may not be the perfect guy, but i know what i'm doing and i know i love you. But i dont know about you." he continued.
Danielle looked at her boyfriend without saying a word. Indeed, does she loves him? Then why does he thinks that what she is doing is hurting him? And maybe its true that sometimes, she wishes he is someone better and sometimes she wishes that he can sacrifice some of his bad habits for her, but could it be that sometimes, she berself is not being a good girlfriend to him too?
Indeed, she could not understand why she could not trust him and why she has to compare him with her other guy friends. And maybe she is putting too much expectation on him by making him someone he is not. Either way, she just wish that they could be a perfect couple. But maybe there is no such thing as a perfect couple, but all that is is a mutual understanding.
"I'm sorry" she whispered. "I dont know what is wrong with me, but just like you, i love you too. And i know wha i did was not right, but i only does it because I care. Really, its not for my own sake that i want you to be a better you, like for example, I know you love that motorbike of yours and you always brag about how cool you look when you speed with that, but the break is spoilt can you do something about it? Risking your own life is not cool. And i know you like messy style but when you come with me for some family or company occassion can you please wear something neat and tidy, its for your own good image. Do it fashionably even if you want to appear rugged or messy. And lastly, can you stop drinking and behaving like a moron? It is retarded and it makes you look less than cool when you vomitted on the couch or when you showed up in front of the door with a cop. And can you..." Danielle could not finish her sentence for her lips was locked on Kyle's as he pulled her closer to him.
"Can you just stop nagging when I'm drunk? Sometimes i know it means good, but when my head is spinning, it got worst when nagged and all i need is a hug or a kiss." he said lifting her up on eye level. "And i know you dont like me to say this, but i really like the way you look without all that make up and dolled up attire. Can you just wear something like this once in a while when we go on our dates? And all food are not as fat as you think they are, stop starving yourself and eat right. A little fat is good to keep you warm. Besides, i dont really care about how you look from the outside, all i care is what is inside. Can you also stop checking on my mobile phones for what i am doing on a daily basis, talk to me. Trust me. I wont lie just to make me feel good. Last but not least, i know i'm not good at remembering important dates, but if you want a great surprise, do tell me before hand and i promise i will give you the best suprise you'll ever have."
They looked at each other and smiled. For a while they felt silly for quarrelling over something so simple, if only they learn to communicate better...
"You sure you want me to talk to you?" Danielle said after they had stopped laughing.
"Why not?" Kyle defended.
"Then why aren't you replying when we talked?"
Kyle looked at his girlfriend and shrugged, "I'm listening." he said defending himself once again.
"Do respond." Danielle requested. "it shows that you are really listening when you respond."
Kyle smiled as he heard the answer. "Sorry about that, I'll keep that in mind in the future."
As they walked with their arms around one another, love filled their hearts, making the chilly wind bearable as they walked their way home.
"oh god where are you kyle" she thought to herself breathless.
She had been running around the area for more than 10 minutes now and still she could find no trace of kyle.
Earlier they just had a quarrell which led the two of them screaming and shouting and kyle walking away hurt
by what Danielle had said to him.
"Where can he be?" Danielle thought to herself. "kyle is drunk he wouldn't have walked that quickly." it was also because of this reason they fought.
It was not the first time Kyle came back drunk. And it was not the first time they fought over this. But this time it was the worst.
"Oh Kyle i'm so sorry" she thought to herself in the bitter chill of the night.
It has been raining heavily for the last few days and though Danielle was fortunate that the rain had finally stop, but the wind is still unbearable.
She rubbed her palms for some heat and wrapped her arms around her. She was wearing nothing but a thin oversize black tee-shirt and faded pink track pants.
An attire she will never wear outside her own house unless permitted like now.
"Damn Kyle where are you?" she thought as she walked out of Harold's Cafe.
It was their favourite cafe to catch up with supper after a midnight show.
Danielle sat on one of the empty chair at Harold's outdoor tables and wondered where can Kyle be.
Unfortunate, she could think of none and thus, with heavy heart, she decided to walk back and headed home.
Just then in the distance, she saw a familiar figure.
The figure's shoulders were stooping low and heavy. His hair is rugged and messy and his shirt is crumpled and messily tuck out off his trousers.
"Kyle!" Danielle called out dashing towards him.
He continued to walk, ignoring her call.
"Kyle where are you going?" Danielle shouted "wait" she said panting.
Unlike her,Kyle is big built. Standing tall on six foot one.
"Kyle!" Danielle said catching up, Kyle was walking so quickly that she had a hard time chasing him. "Wait up!" she shouted grabbing his hand when she had finally reached his side.
Kyle took his hand roughly from her " what do you want?" he asked without looking at her "i thought you said you dont love me anymore?"
"Kyle listen! I'm sorry okay." Danielle said apologetically. "I didnt mean to hurt you. I just...i was just pissed to see you coming home drunk every night and making a fool of yourself. Can you please stop walking!" Danielle shouted as she stood a few distance away from him.
Kyle stopped and turned to look at his girlfriend. "Wow, you actually get out of the house wearing that? Cool." he said looking at Danielle's sloppy attire.
"Kyle stop joking alright." Danielle said irritated.
"I'm not!" he shouted. "do you see what happen between us? This is what happen, you never believe a single thing that i said. You are always checking on me and think suspicious. You look at me like some losers and compare me with your guy-friends. You show concerns to the people around you, but not to me. You dont even care about how i feel. "he said pausing to catch a breath.
"You know i may not be the perfect guy, but i know what i'm doing and i know i love you. But i dont know about you." he continued.
Danielle looked at her boyfriend without saying a word. Indeed, does she loves him? Then why does he thinks that what she is doing is hurting him? And maybe its true that sometimes, she wishes he is someone better and sometimes she wishes that he can sacrifice some of his bad habits for her, but could it be that sometimes, she berself is not being a good girlfriend to him too?
Indeed, she could not understand why she could not trust him and why she has to compare him with her other guy friends. And maybe she is putting too much expectation on him by making him someone he is not. Either way, she just wish that they could be a perfect couple. But maybe there is no such thing as a perfect couple, but all that is is a mutual understanding.
"I'm sorry" she whispered. "I dont know what is wrong with me, but just like you, i love you too. And i know wha i did was not right, but i only does it because I care. Really, its not for my own sake that i want you to be a better you, like for example, I know you love that motorbike of yours and you always brag about how cool you look when you speed with that, but the break is spoilt can you do something about it? Risking your own life is not cool. And i know you like messy style but when you come with me for some family or company occassion can you please wear something neat and tidy, its for your own good image. Do it fashionably even if you want to appear rugged or messy. And lastly, can you stop drinking and behaving like a moron? It is retarded and it makes you look less than cool when you vomitted on the couch or when you showed up in front of the door with a cop. And can you..." Danielle could not finish her sentence for her lips was locked on Kyle's as he pulled her closer to him.
"Can you just stop nagging when I'm drunk? Sometimes i know it means good, but when my head is spinning, it got worst when nagged and all i need is a hug or a kiss." he said lifting her up on eye level. "And i know you dont like me to say this, but i really like the way you look without all that make up and dolled up attire. Can you just wear something like this once in a while when we go on our dates? And all food are not as fat as you think they are, stop starving yourself and eat right. A little fat is good to keep you warm. Besides, i dont really care about how you look from the outside, all i care is what is inside. Can you also stop checking on my mobile phones for what i am doing on a daily basis, talk to me. Trust me. I wont lie just to make me feel good. Last but not least, i know i'm not good at remembering important dates, but if you want a great surprise, do tell me before hand and i promise i will give you the best suprise you'll ever have."
They looked at each other and smiled. For a while they felt silly for quarrelling over something so simple, if only they learn to communicate better...
"You sure you want me to talk to you?" Danielle said after they had stopped laughing.
"Why not?" Kyle defended.
"Then why aren't you replying when we talked?"
Kyle looked at his girlfriend and shrugged, "I'm listening." he said defending himself once again.
"Do respond." Danielle requested. "it shows that you are really listening when you respond."
Kyle smiled as he heard the answer. "Sorry about that, I'll keep that in mind in the future."
As they walked with their arms around one another, love filled their hearts, making the chilly wind bearable as they walked their way home.
Yuliana :)
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Numerical Numbers
I have never like numerical numbers.
Not only are they confusing to calculate sometimes (when it comes to too many amounts and zeroes), they can be very frightening too.
Especially the time when we... for the sake of all the convenience, use it invisibly.
And yes, I am referring to you dear Credit Cards.
Okay, before I rant on, maybe I should put some of the blame on myself for buying things in a flight of fancy these few days.
But well, all that items are by ALL means, functional needs.
Really.
They are clothes.
And I need clothes.
And I need them to revamp myself from my outdated looks.
:p (opps)
Well, anyway, back to numbers and my fright night moment with them.
Yeah, so you know what, I had been, you know, using invisible money for one way or another (and for some time) and, yeah, talking about this, brings me to point no.2 to my own biggest mistakes:
I forgot to replace my book keeping book. Thus all these money that I had spent, I had not only spent them invisibly, but also blindly.
With no records whatsoever.
Therefore, after 3 months of not keeping track with my own financial situation, suddenly yesterday, when I was calculating the amount I spent, TO MY BIGGEST NIGHTMARE, which is even more scary that Elm's Street, I realized that I had spent such a big BOMB that it burnt a big hole in my "pocket" right now.
And you know what, as I was pressing madly on daddy's calculator I could feel the mocking smile of the freaking money getting wider and wider!
On the other hand, my heart was growing dimmer and dimmer and almost, broke into a million pieces. But well, since it's only almost, so maybe I should re-phrase the sentence and said that my heart grows dimmer and broke to a painful crack.
Indeed, yeah, numbers look scary, even when we are not taking mathematic exams. And now I know why my dad is always horrified whenever the mobile phone and other bills showed up at our mailbox. And I also understand why whenever the dollars drop, drop, drop, everyone is so panic.
Haiz...numbers...although it may look cool on the back of someone, especially when they are worn by some famous people that we love, but still just like mathematics, they make your head ache and your heart twitch once in a while.
Gotta go,
the time now is 1:48 a.m. (so past my bedtime)
and the music of the night is "Master of Puppets" by David Garrett.
Take Care Now, Bye Bye Then :)
Love and Peace,
Yuliana :)
Not only are they confusing to calculate sometimes (when it comes to too many amounts and zeroes), they can be very frightening too.
Especially the time when we... for the sake of all the convenience, use it invisibly.
And yes, I am referring to you dear Credit Cards.
Okay, before I rant on, maybe I should put some of the blame on myself for buying things in a flight of fancy these few days.
But well, all that items are by ALL means, functional needs.
Really.
They are clothes.
And I need clothes.
And I need them to revamp myself from my outdated looks.
:p (opps)
Well, anyway, back to numbers and my fright night moment with them.
Yeah, so you know what, I had been, you know, using invisible money for one way or another (and for some time) and, yeah, talking about this, brings me to point no.2 to my own biggest mistakes:
I forgot to replace my book keeping book. Thus all these money that I had spent, I had not only spent them invisibly, but also blindly.
With no records whatsoever.
Therefore, after 3 months of not keeping track with my own financial situation, suddenly yesterday, when I was calculating the amount I spent, TO MY BIGGEST NIGHTMARE, which is even more scary that Elm's Street, I realized that I had spent such a big BOMB that it burnt a big hole in my "pocket" right now.
And you know what, as I was pressing madly on daddy's calculator I could feel the mocking smile of the freaking money getting wider and wider!
On the other hand, my heart was growing dimmer and dimmer and almost, broke into a million pieces. But well, since it's only almost, so maybe I should re-phrase the sentence and said that my heart grows dimmer and broke to a painful crack.
Indeed, yeah, numbers look scary, even when we are not taking mathematic exams. And now I know why my dad is always horrified whenever the mobile phone and other bills showed up at our mailbox. And I also understand why whenever the dollars drop, drop, drop, everyone is so panic.
Haiz...numbers...although it may look cool on the back of someone, especially when they are worn by some famous people that we love, but still just like mathematics, they make your head ache and your heart twitch once in a while.
Gotta go,
the time now is 1:48 a.m. (so past my bedtime)
and the music of the night is "Master of Puppets" by David Garrett.
Take Care Now, Bye Bye Then :)
Love and Peace,
Yuliana :)
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