One year

A year ago, the moment I had submitted my final year projects and was announced to be one of the student's graduating, I have decided to take a 1 year break.

Seems like a long break, but actually it is not in compared to the amount of years spent studying and educating.

throughout this 1 year of alienating with myself from any responsibilities, i have been glad to learn that along the way I had been able to mastered and enjoyed myself to the fullest by doing things I love to do.

Piano lesson for example.
Although I won't say that it was all too perfect for me, but I was glad to learn that within that 1 year i was given the opportunity to learn more in depth and practice like i had never practiced before. At the same time, allow myself some room for exploration into playing master pieces like Mozart's Twinkle Little Stars or Canon in C major.

I was glad that throughout those times used to practice, I was able to get myself better-ly acquainted with sight readings and piano theory.

Besides that, I was also given the time to mastered up my sewing skills where I made for myself many felted products from plush toys to food; while at the same time allowing myself to experience with colours and fabrics. I wont say that I am a very artistic person, but with the projects of felt that I am involved in, I was surprised and glad to learn that at times when artistic side is needed, it came out of me as an instinct.


Along the way, I was also given the opportunity to serve God.
Involved myself in more than one ministries, while at the same time continue to live a Godly characteristics outside church environment.

There was the opportunity to pray and shared love to those people less fortunate than I am when I involved in a volunteer work at Red Cross Home for the Disabled with Youth Fellowship.

There was also time where I learnt to share skills I've learnt in school to those older generations who had difficulties in understanding the computer during my one month service with CPF. While at the same time exercised patience and firmness at times when tempted. On the other hand, also allowing some room for friendship and love during the festive season of Christmas.

I guess, though it seems like a one year seemingly fruitless year in other's point of view, but to me, there are more to it than the eyes can see.

Throughout this one year, I learnt that I am getting ever more closely to God too.
A routine daily quiet time every night while at the same time taking an extra mile to read the bible ever more detailed.
And the time taken to pray for those who need His love.
Time to share the words of God to those who need it but unfortunately haven't got the answer.

There were also time to be joyful when a prayer is answered.
Or when a soul decided to believe in God.
When I was given the ability to share the words of God not by my own words, but God's spirit through my mouth.

Then at times when other friends were tempted, learnt to be a good encourager/ listening ears.
At times when a friend is tempted and fall, before they fallen in too deep, learnt to pick them up and stabled them back on the ground God had set for them.

Learnt to love despite the sinful nature of other's actions.
Learnt to be humble when being taught.

There were also times when I myself doubted God and got myself wearied because of the expectations of getting a job etc. etc.
Fear of the unknown and doubt for the future.
Blinded by expectation and hasty in making decision.
Impatient to step out of God's plan to wait.

Fortunately, God is kind and patient towards my every actions, and each day He moulded me again and again to see what He is seeing. To wait as He desired.
To act as He intended to.
To be wise according to His eyes and not my owns.

And most of all, to surrender as a true disciples surrender to God's plan and perfect WILL!

Along the way I was also given friends who loves me and prayed for me constantly.
Helped me to pick up my load at times when the road seems hard to walk by.
Friends who is ever so willing to be by my side and hear me of my rantings and worries.
Friends who is ever so loving as to provide me comforts and joy.
Friends who is ever so lovely as to share the burden of fear/ worry/ and excitement each time an application of resumes and CVs were sent out.
And each time the letters sent failed to return, they were ready to pick me up and brushed me off the negative thoughts that began to swirl in my brain.

These I would refer to as the greatest blessings in my life of 1 year expedition in search for the next step.

To feel God and see Him through people around me who acts like Him.

There was also the amazing opportunities to be involved in the pilgrim to visit God's once dwelling places, Israel.
A nation chosen by God to serve Him.

It was a blessing to experience what the biblical characters experienced before when making their way out of Egypt and into the promising land. And to walk the road Jesus once walked through.
His birth place.
His churches, where it was once used as the places Jesus preached and teach.
As well as His sufferings as he walked down the road to Calvary.

All these I will say is once again, a blessing.

And of course, last but not least, just as the 1 year is up, as if He knows it already, A Job is here for me to do His service apart from church.

Thank God for His ever wonderful blessings and I pray that I will do my part as worker 'of God' wherever I am being placed.

Love and Peace,
Yuliana

A Shepherd's Love

Love. It can's be force and that means it is automatic.

One day a sheep sat with his back against the rest of his flock and his shepherd.

From where he stood, The Shepherd could see the little small figure that curled into a ball.

It was not a regular thing that a sheep flee off his flock, yet so close to the pack.

The Shepherd, scanning the entire field with his experienced eyes, and after ensuring that no possible danger nearby, decided to leave the flock to bring the little 'lost' one home.

Little Sheep who sensed the presenced of his shepherd's steps coming closer, began to shift in his seat.

"Why are you here?" The Shepherd asked gently.

Ashamed and guilt striken, Little Sheep covered his face with his forelimb.

Then after a while, he began to sobs.

The Shepherd turning over his shoulder to ensure (once again) that the rest of his sheeps are in good pastures, then sat himself comfortably beside the crying sheep.

Little Sheep waited for his shepherd to say something.

A scolding.

Or a word of discipline.

But the Shepherd said none.

He just sat quitely beside His sheep with his staff in his hand.

Calming himself, Little Sheep dared himself to look at his Shepherd.

"Are you..." he stammered. "Are you not going to scold me?" he asked.

His shepherd, with a gentle smile on his face shook his head. 

"But why not?" Little Sheep asked standing on all four. "But I was tempted. I was lost. I...I stepped out of the flock without permission and got myself poisoned because of the other grass. I...I disobeyed your rules, Master, then...why didnt you scold me?"

The Shepherd, smiling as he listened to his sheep's explanation nodded in agreement.

"Don't you not understand?" He asked looking at his sheep.

Little Sheep pondered the question for a while and then with two innocent eyes stared at his Shepherd blankly.

"Unlike the other sheeps we lost along the way because they refused to return when they had tasted the other grass, you returned." 

Little Sheep tilted his head, "You mean?"

The Shepherd nodded.

"You understood your fault. And there's nothing I need to say to scold you."

Little Sheep looked at his shepherd before he threw a glance at his flocks.

"You mean...I am still part of the team?"

The Shepherd smiles.

"There is nothing better than to see my sheep coming back to me. Especially when they do it on their own.'

Little Sheep's face lit up at the approval of his master, but then, remembering what he had done, his face began to gloom.

"But...I am greyed. The poison had made my wool turned to grey. The others...they...they might made fun of me. And the predators, they may recognized me and eat me up."

"Little Sheep." The Shepherd called out sternly but kindly. "don't you want to be white again?" He asked.

Staring at the grey wools around his skin, Little Sheep nodded.

"Then stay close to Me. I'll make you as white as the others."

Little Grey Sheep with sparkles and tears in his eyes leapt with joy to the open arms of His Good Shepherd who then carried him on His shoulder as they walked towards the waiting flock.

"I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."  Jesus Christ (Luke 15:7)

~The End~

Story Written by:

Yuliana Kasman



Life at its Best

There is nothing better than a great musician singing a great songs with a great lyrics, when one is down, to soothes and calm the whole psychotic mood.

Posting shit in my blog.
Not my type.
But for the benefit of the great things that had helped me to overcome all the suckiness of life, I am going to make this post a lil different than usual.

It was 1 week before my official working days, and I have been kept busy as if I have been working all my life already.
Not that I don't enjoy it.
But everything is so messy and quick and fast that for a moment I am wondering now, what the hell have I been doing?

Not to mentioned the unnessary things that had happened to some of my silly friends which led them stumbled and astrayed.
Moreover the endless redudant/ probably unachievable expectation that continue to pile up.
And analysing and analysing endless people who just refuses to make a change in their life.

At times like this I really think that the observation made by Eccletiates is really true.
All these are meaningless.

To build and to build and re-build for many years only to be ruined in one night.
Or to think and to re-think and to change and make a change only to be slashed in one event.
These are all meaningless.

Thankfully, God who is meaningful, stays meaningful and always meaningful.

And He gave me the opportunity to see the menings in life out of the ugliness of the world that are menaingless. One day it will perish anyway.
Just like David who loves to dwells in His dwelling place and prefer to stay in His court for one day than to spend thousand days elsewhere; I rather be like that too.

To stay in His dwelling place and be His gatekeeper rather than standing in the tent of the wicked.

How I wish to stay in His presence forever.

And thanks be to God for he is worthy of praise, and His covenant endures forever.
For at times when life seems like hell, He gave me things that are worth worshipping.

The beauty of a talented singer/song writer that I am able to come across for example.
He is like Ruth in the middle of the corrupted monarchy of the Israelites 2000 years ago.
A flower that blooms among the thorns of life.
Bringing beauty and comfort and peace to the seemingly meaningless life.
And with the creativity of his writing skills, he brought with him a song that seems to bring life and beauty.

What a great gift.
A blessing.

Then again at times when life seems to tiring to move on, a prayer request was given on the card that I am glad to feel the stillness of life.

Sometimes, it is also better when we live far away from our gadgets.
Putting on my handphone to silent mode.
I couldn't careless of what's happening in there.
For once, I feel life is more meaningful. Because time is being spent properly, fruitfully and slowly treassured.

How often do we neglected the sense of time.
Too busy to the point that time seems so short to eat.
Or too rush to the point that 24 hours is not enough.
Time was taken too quickly that the next thing you know, another weeks had passed. Then months, then years.
And when we re-collect everything, we realized that all our lives, we dedicated it to others.
Not bad, but what do we feel?
More often then not, emptiness.
Obligation.
Habitual response.

What about Enjoyment?
Rejoice?
or Gladness?
When all these things are none, it is no wonder life seems so lifeless. Empty. Meaningless.

Prayerfully, despite all the crazy things in life, everyone still take a time to pray.
To stop.
To think.
To laugh.
To love.
To be glad.
To be joyful.
To be true, at least to themselves.
And take a time to enjoy life sincerely.

L&P
Me :)

Blogging!!!!

BLOGGING!!!!!!!!

Guess that will be my opening for today's post. LOL.
Let's see how long have I not been posting?
Since March! Not including the fictional stories I've posted for entertainment.

WOW!
Anyway, where should I start?
Many things had happened. And when I said that, it really means, Many many.
A lot of things.

First of, probably the 2 good news that I have not been posting.

1. I'm finally back on the road to study again!!!! and though it was just a 6 times courses, but unlike any other courses I've ever attended, I believe this course is going to be a life-changing (or rather it has been) learning experience for me not only for the time being, or at a specific time or a place, but for anywhere, anytime, all my life!

And that course is.....OLD TESTAMENT SURVEY 1! conducted by Singapore Bible College for lay-christians to deepen, rooten, improven their biblical knowledge.
And I am so glad that after many many moments of thinking and planning and discussing (with my parents) and wondering and questionings, FINALLY!!! I am able to send in my application online and in a few hours time, an email sent back to me to say that my registration is APPROVED! (Praise the Lord!)

And then, then then...after finally making all the required readings for what is expected for the class, when it's going to start etc. etc. I am currently on my forth week and lesson with the school!

So, I am really looking forward to my next class this coming thursday.

2. Next biggy news that happened, a few weeks ago, I was offered a job vacancy at Raffles Hospital as the company's International Patient Centre. I was leaping with glee at the sound of the offer as I am seriously, desperately in need of work right now, well not because I am broke, though some part of it is true. But it is also because I rather be working and enhance some more skills before all my skills learned in school are all gone and forgotten.

And also, with the salary I earned, I will be able to 'feed' myself with the payment of my next semester's course which will begin somewhere in september. So the idea of me paying my own thing with my own money, vavavooom!!! just sounds pretty cool and amazing.

Especially when it is meant for a good payment. :) ;)

Coming close after that, huahaha I just got myself a nice phone with a nice camera lens and as a result....NICE PICTURES! Thus, for my second trip to Medan this year, I was more than elated when I saw all the pictures taken with my long distance families looked so damn AMAAAAZING!!!!
 And just for your record, the phone is called Samsung Galaxy III.

Talking about Medan...heee it won't be too far away from knitting.

This year, for my knitting projects :) :) :) I have been glad that I was able to make a beautiful two colours beannie for my baby Cousin.

It was done with bella baby (sugar) 4 ply yarn 
100% Australian wool
with 4mm circular needles

and

A pattern which I design myself.

hahaha.

Guess all knitters would be able to make this anyway. so save that part.

Anyway, just glad that I was able to make a beannie. And how easy it was to make a circle with the 'MAGIC' circular needles!
Like seriously, I really thanked whoever invented the circular needles as it makes knitting so much fun and easier.

Besides making a successful hat which was welcomed with open hands and blissful smile, I am also glad to learn and mastered up the technique of making sweet booties for the little cherubs.

The pattern was designed by my aunt and mentor (who taught me how to knit) and I was glad that for the one week trip to Medan, I was able to learn up one more skills. :)

For this booties, I made use of a wool blend yarn from bella baby, with 50% Merino and 50% Polymide.
Overall pattern was done in Garter Stitch and the bow was done using crochet (chain) method.


Knitting is soooooooo fun!

And I hope that if I really am accepted to work in the hospital, I will be able to send some of my knitted products for some patients who need it to keep their babies warm. Or even sharing some love for the children-cancer patients to keep their heads warm and stylish.

HMMM...guess that's gonna be all for today's post.

Hopefully I will come back again for more updates.

Take care now. Bye Bye then. :)


Love and Peace,
Yuliana